life

Did it ever happen to you that you have a really bad phase in your life? Like, one that runs a course of over two years? Well I have just left behind one of those phases.

During that period I have found the man of my life, the one I want to wake up next to, and grow old with. That being said, it’s not fair to say that last two years were the worst time of my life. They certainly were not. They brought some of the most beautful moments and feelings in my life, and in that field it’s been the best time so far.

But somehow, life starts to weigh heavy on your back. You start to feel responsible for how your life will turn out and you don’t like that much responsability. Like, when did that happen? Just yesterday, your biggest concern was what shoes to wear with that outfit you planned for Saturday night will you pass that difficult exam that gives you trouble. And that terrifying feeling of responsability for your own life is just a beginning. Suddenly, everyone expects something from you. You expect something from yourself, and you don’t even know what that is. You’ve been so carefree your entire life, that you never stopped to think about that. So you create an illusion that everything will be fine if you just relax. But in the back of your mind, there’s a heavy cloud of fear, helplesness and disorientation.

Take it from someone who’s been through that. I’ve been floating in some kind of bubble through all that because I was too scared to face reality. I wasn’t even half aware of what was happening to me. Or should I say, what I did to myself. It’s so easy to sink into denial. To make excusses. To look away. To lie to yourself. Until you no longer can. Repeating the same lame excuse for a hundredth time starts to taste so bitter. And then something kicks you in the butt. And it’s not the people who give you the sad look. Or those who, out of pity, say that everything will be fine. You get angry with yourself. You can’t believe you let yourself hit rock bottom.

That’s the hardest part. When you have to look yourself in the eyes and admit that the blame is on you, and you only. And then make peace with that, so you can start all over. There’s lot of work, but you finally see the light at the end of a tunnel. You roll up your sleeves and get to work, and it feels good because there’s hope. You never complain anymore, because you see the point in what you do. 

Finally i feel that everything IS going to be allright. I’m at peace because i know I’m doing everything I can, and whatever comes up, I’ll be able to deal with it.

whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve

normcore

sweater and pants - H&M; bag - Zara; sneakers - Adidas

/ph. Nikola/

Normcore.

Detail-free. Anti-style. Céline effect?

Normcore doesn't want the freedom to become someone. Normcore moves away from a coolness that relies on difference to a post-authenticity that opt into sameness. Normcore says, 'I have soul and intelligence. I'm unique and I don't need to shout about it.'

#adidassuperstar

So I gave in to this Superstar trend. Honestly, it was only a matter of time (when my paycheck will arrive haha). As much as I love high heels and a good pair of boots - sneakers hold a special place in my heart. It goes back to my childhood days, and spans over high school and uni days, to this day. Ever since I can remember, it was a ritual for me - choosing a model for the season and then urging my parents to buy them or saving up if it's a really special and expensive pair of kicks. And I would wear them with almost everything. While the other girls were all about ballerina flats and sandals, sneakers were my thing. I considered them to be so incredibly cool, I still do. They compliment my style because, even when I dress up - I like to add a detail that will tone it down, so the result is laid back, cool and 'undone' outfit. Like cigarette pants and a blazer with sneakers. Just as I like it.
It's not about comfort - it's a lifestyle for me!

Boho Chic

It's funny how, even when you think you finally have your style and aesthetics figured out, it can still dramatically change in just few months. So, even though boho is (and will remain) one of my favorite styles in fashion, at the moment I'm kind of tired of colors, patterns and statement jewelry pieces. I guess it's because in the last couple of years major trends were color blocking, floral prints, statement necklaces, bold colors, and over time one can really become overly saturated with those things. All I want is clean lines, not many details and no colors (ok, camel and baby blue can go, but in small doses). This change is visible not only in the way I dress lately, but also in the way I arrange my living space. But that's another story :). Thes photos were taken last November, and I'm not sure if this would be my choice at the moment, but still it does portray one side of my personality.

Black Lace

Some of you might remember that this is the building where I shot my first editorial. I knew back then that this is the setting where I must shoot an outfit, and when I got this dress it all just clicked! The building is neglected and ruined, and it exudes that raw feel that I love. At the same time it reminds the visitor of some past happy times...

What to do during Weekend?

Since I started working 9 to 5, I discovered a newborn appreciation for the weekends. I used to hate weekends, but now I really try to use every second of these free days, as time flies by so fast (and on the other hand, work days go by sooooo painfully slowly). So here are some suggestions on what you can do to relax and enjoy your weekend!

• Roll up your sleeves and dive into some DIY project! It can be something really simple, such as printing and framing your favorite quote and making a marble notebook, like I did last weekend! I'm sure you have some ideas lingering in the back of your mind, and if not, Pinterest is an endless source of ideas!

• Clean up your desk/closet/room/house! Getting rid of things you never wear any more, make up with expired date or old textbooks from high school or university (guilty!) leaves you more free space to fill with tons of new shoes will bring some fresh air into your space and you'll feel more organized!

• Go out for a run! Ride a bike! Search on youtube for some workout you can do at your house! Just get moving, and it'll do you good in all the ways I'm sure you're already familliar with. For those who are too lazy to exercise, going to a massage is a good idea too!

• Invest your time to acquire some new skills! Start with dance lessons, start learning a new language or learn how to knit! It'll enrich you and fill you with new energy!

• Reading is always a good idea! My latest obsession is Bukowski, along with my longtime love Haruki Murakami.

Whatever you choose to do, always listen to a good music!

Have a lovely weekend!

Love,

A.

Saphire

Furry Parka

New chapter.

New name.

Starting fresh with clean slate, and endless possibilities. Can't wait to see where will this take me!